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UCLA Student Health Education and Promotion (SHEP)

A relationship should be a source of joy, support and friendship, and should not cause anxiety, insecurity or isolation. This information will help you to understand the foundations of healthy relationships and to recognize the signs of an unhealthy one.

A healthy relationship is based on:

  • Emotional responsibility – each person is responsible for his or her individual happiness and sense of self-worth
  • Mutual respect – each partner should be respectful of the other in words and actions. boundaries should be established and then honored.
  • Trust – trust creates a safe connec tion between partners where each is affirmed by the other. partners who trust each other do not feel threatened by each other’s successes or joys, but rather encourage the other’s growth and success.
  • Honesty – honesty goes hand-in-hand with trust. you should not have to lie or hide things from your partner in a healthy relationship.
  • Support – in a healthy relationship, your partner should provide a shoulder to cry on during tough times and celebrate with you during good times.
  • Equality – relationships are about “give and take.” one person should not be fighting to get his or her way all of the time.
  • Separate Identities – a healthy relationship allows each partner to take personal time, explore his or her own interests and spend time with friends outside of the relationship.
  • Open communication – each partner should feel safe discussing his or her desires, expectations, needs and limits. both partners should feel free to express themselves and talk through conflicts.

Adapted from Loyola University (2019)

Swipe Right On Yourself! Practicing Self Compassion in the World of Online Dating

"People feel compassion for themselves because all human beings deserve compassion and understanding, not because they possess some particular set of traits…” "Definition and the Three Elements of Self Compassion" Dr. Kristin Neff

Self compassion is not self esteem; self esteem is one's sense of self worth, perception of value, and how much one likes themselves. It is based in subjective self-evaluation, and is often based in traits of the individual.

Self compassion is not self confidence; self confidence is a feeling of rest-assuredness (or lack thereof) in one's own attributes or abilities. Like self esteem, self confidence relies on the evaluation of one's own self; it is inherently a matter of judgement of worth and value.

Self compassion does not rely on self-evaluation, judgement, or estimation of worth. Self compassion depends on the idea that everyone deserves compassion by virtue of the fact that they are human; and thus, we should give compassion to everyone, including ourselves!

It's hard not to feel self-conscious on dating apps sometimes. In fact, they are designed in such a way to render you reliant on "matching" with someone to feel validated. We ought to feel validated by ourselves! And this resource is here to help you with that.

Watch the recording of our event on self compassion and dating, and make your own self compassionate dating template by clicking on the link!

Make your own self-compassionate dating profile!

Recording: What is self compassion? Video

Better Communication

One of the keys to a healthy relationship is maintaining good communication. Communication is like any skill, it takes practice and willingness to objectively as possible, examine the root causes of the poor communication – “are they individual in the partners or interactional in the couple?" The need and the ability to create improvement usually lies in each individual AND in the relationship interaction."- Dr. Adamson, NCU. Learn more: Communication Tips ​​​.​​

Learn more about consent, healthy communication and relationships, and more

How to be Sexcessful

“How to RAVEE in a Pandemic” is a guide for navigating conversations and social interactions when expectations may not always be clear.

While the best way to keep yourself and your loved ones safe and prevent the spread of COVID is to restrict socializing to those who you live with, we recognize that there are situations where you may have to navigate hanging out those outside of your household. In these situations, it's important to keep RAVEE in mind.

(Developed for students by SHEP Peer Health Education Interns in partnership with Semel HCI)

Read How to RAVEE in a Pandemic!

How to RAVEE* in a Pandemic